Read Chapter One of Life in Jeneral
Below, I’m so excited to share the first chapter of my first book, Life in Jeneral, to celebrate its launch today! This has been a labor of love as I’ve poured my heart and soul into these pages. You can get your copy here or anywhere you buy books. Now, here’s Chapter One. Enjoy!
I believe that people are the happiest version of themselves when they are organized. Not happy in a giddy-surge-of-excitement kind of way. Happy in a deeply settled way—the feeling that comes when you’ve made room for what matters most in your life.
No, I’m not a psychologist (though I’m a big fan of therapy and often recommend it to my clients). I’m a professional organizer, which does mean that I’m trusted to go pretty deep into people’s homes and, by default, into their heads as well. While I love it all, it’s the latter part that keeps me passionate about my job. The business I founded is called Life in Jeneral, and it’s a lifestyle and organizing company that has helped thousands of people simplify and transform their homes into spaces that invite a more joyful way of living.
Our work began in Los Angeles (my home base) and, in the last several years, has taken us across more than fifteen states and into Canada. Our clients are Hollywood celebrities, teachers, military personnel, big families, small families, bachelors, and bachelorettes. They live in every setting, from twenty-five-thousand-square-foot mansions to tiny studio apartments. A client’s income level and fame, or the size of their home, could not matter less to me. What matters to me is the intention of the heart. I want to help anyone who desires to live more freely and fully by organizing their homes from the inside out. That’s why I wrote this book, and why I’m so glad you’ve picked it up.
My guess is that you, like all of my clients, are in the midst of some kind of transition—moving to a new town and starting a new job, navigating the needs of growing children, bearing through divorce or the death of a loved one—or just navigating through the feeling that a change is needed, even if you can’t put your finger on exactly what that might be.
Add the constant transition of life to the frantic speed of twenty-first- century living and you have a giant magnet for the accumulation of belongings. But what’s missing is the time and the mental capacity to discern if those things are actually enriching our lives or just distracting us from the bigger picture. It’s ironic, isn’t it? The more stuff we have, the less time we have to enjoy it. Or each other.
That disconnect breaks my heart because I’ve personally seen—hundreds of times over—how destructive it can be and how hopeless it can feel to lose touch with the people and the things that give our lives meaning. I never take it for granted that my clients invite me into their homes at some of the most vulnerable times in their lives. It takes an immense amount of courage to let someone into the intimate corners of your home life, to air your dirty laundry—both literally and figuratively. And I’m humbled by that trust every time. It fuels my resolve to see each individual and each family break free from their constant survival mode and step into living with intention. People come to me with tears, shame, and heartbreak, but I always know that my team and I will leave them hopeful, changed, organized, and free to be more fully themselves. Because that is my purpose in this world, and it always has been.
A SOULFUL APPROACH TO ORGANIZING
As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been a natural streamliner. In elementary school, I convinced one teacher that I should stay back from recess until all the desks were better organized for classroom flow. Looking back, I laugh about what that teacher must’ve thought of this nine-year-old talking about “maximizing the space to its fullest potential.” She must’ve thought I was crazy, but she was gracious. You’ve gotta love a good teacher, help-ing you build your confidence. In middle school, a Saturday-night slumber party at a friend’s house turned into an organizing fest with me going deep in my friend’s closet, creating keep, toss, and donate piles on the floor. I know, I’m a real party animal. But while I appreciate the aesthetics of a tidy space, that’s not what draws me to organizing. I may not have recognized it in grade school, but my effort to create more efficient spaces is really about how the outcome will make people feel. I still remember how excited my friend was at that sleepover when she realized that every single thing in the closet was something she loved.
Having a natural intuition for creating better flow came in quite handy in my early twenties. At that time, I was working as the personal assistant for a professional athlete in LA. My job was to keep all aspects of his daily routine and home life organized. The fact that he moved five times in about as many years might sound like a nightmare for someone in my position, but I saw each move as an opportunity to create increasingly better systems of organization for his home, lifestyle, and priorities. I loved that challenge because I became a firsthand witness to what it looks like when what you own is no longer owning you but serving the life you want to lead. The more we simplified and streamlined his living environment, the more at ease and uplifted—the more himself—my employer became. Ultimately, I wanted to make my boss happy, not only with my work but with the rhythm of his daily life. Little did I know that the principles I uncovered in that process would lead to the business I have today.
Perhaps it’s because my career in organizing did not begin in a traditional way that my approach with new clients is a little out of the ordinary as well. It’s grounded in happiness, and in helping clients figure out what will allow them to live more wholeheartedly in their own homes. When new clients approach Life in Jeneral, often they have already tried some kind of organizing method themselves or even hired a professional to help overhaul their homes, but it didn’t stick. They couldn’t maintain the order, and they feel discouraged because of it. Why couldn’t they sustain an organized home? Because holistic change requires a holistic approach.
Whenever my team and I begin a new project, before we do anything else, we take time with our clients and ask to hear their stories. We’ve listened to account after account of how things “just keep piling up” and then life in general (get the company name now?) becomes overwhelming. And while it has always seemed natural to me to seek a fuller picture of some-one’s life and goals and what makes them tick before we jump into the work needed in their home, most of my new clients are surprised at our efforts to get a deeper understanding of their personal stories. It’s not uncommon for me to hear, “No one’s ever asked me that before!”
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about organizing is that it can exist in a vacuum—discard, clean, repeat. But in reality, that’s totally not the case. Since every facet of our lives is interconnected, our health in one area inevitably affects our health in another. And that’s why I’ve always felt that Life in Jeneral’s approach needed to serve both the emotional and physical levels, by (1) seeking to understand a person’s values, passions, life goals, and potential emotional hang-ups around possessions that aren’t serving the life they want to live; (2) helping them identify and flip the script on those emotional barriers; and (3) creating real systems of organization within every space of the home, whereby every item is contained and has a specific and correct home that can be maintained. What we’ve found along the way is that this effort to encompass more of the whole person, or whole household, in our approach to organizing is what sets up lasting change.
When we ask our clients what their goals are for their homes, we lean in close to catch the answer behind the answer. Because—while it’s our bread and butter and an awfully helpful agent of change—achieving an orderly home with a space for everything isn’t actually the ultimate goal. It’s simply setting the stage for that goal.
I know. It seems counterintuitive for a professional organizer to make that admission. But here’s what I’ve learned from becoming a professional listener through this work: no matter the size of a home, the stage of a life, or the makeup of a family, I believe what really matters at the end of the day is connection, love, and purpose. We all long to connect deeply with the ones we love. To experience the lack of striving that comes from being more authentically ourselves. To work and play in meaningful ways. And to hold and acknowledge the sacred moments of life—the laughter, the heartbreak, the breakups and breakthroughs—before our fast-paced world whisks us on to another day. To put it simply, we want to live wholeheartedly . . . start-ing yesterday. So, why don’t we?
CLEARING THE CLUTTERED MIND
Every client I’ve worked with has a completely unique story with life goals and dreams all his or her own. Yet the reasons they cite for not getting organized or for holding on to objects that are not serving their lives tend to fall into the same six categories:
I don’t have enough time.
I don’t know where to start.
I don’t want to lose the memories.
I might need it one day.
I’d feel guilty if I didn’t keep this.
I’d feel lost without my stuff.
Notice a theme? These statements are all internal barriers, barriers of the mind and heart: doubts, fears, and anxieties repeated to the point that they become self-limiting mantras.
Whether one rings true for you or you relate to all six, I want to share a truth that can be equal parts encouraging and tough to swallow: the hardest part of ordering your home is changing your mindset. Don’t worry—I’ve got you covered on tangible tips, tools, and systems to help you transform your physical space, and I’ll share all of that goodness in the pages ahead. But the real work—the soul work, I like to say—lies in getting your mind lined up with your heart. Because, as I previously proposed, the human heart already knows what it wants most: the space for deep connection and purposeful living. So, you already have the deep-seated reasons you need to begin the process. It’s just time to tap into them.
FLIPPING THE SCRIPT
There is one general fear that often surfaces right away with my clients when I start working with them: their idea of purging. By our second conversation (if not the first) they’ll nervously ask, “Are you going to make me throw away everything?” Not only am I ready for the question when it comes, I eagerly anticipate it, because my response expresses so much of my core belief around belongings. “No, that’s not what we’re about,” I say. “We’re here to focus on what you want to keep. Let’s rediscover the things you really love in your home.”
I am not interested in minimizing for its own sake. My goal is to help my clients simplify so that every belonging in their homes either brings them joy or serves a specific, useful function. It’s a simple yet profoundly life-changing principle: when you’re surrounded by what you love, you can’t help but love your surroundings.
When my clients understand the distinction between approaching the process from what they’ll gain rather than what they’ll lose, there is an immediate and palpable sense of relief. The task suddenly becomes doable and desirable. Because it is. By starting with “What’s most important in your life? What do really you want to keep?” instead of “How much of your stuff can we get rid of?,” we’ve flipped the script.
That’s the power of asking the right questions. And that’s why for every mental and emotional obstacle to organizing that I cover in the com-ing chapters, I provide key questions to help you flip the scenario in your mind—to start with a possibility instead of a problem. Using these tools, you’ll be able to pivot to a new perspective and to break through these all- too-common barriers on the way to transforming your home.
When it comes to breaking out of mental and emotional ruts worn deep by time and habit, it really helps to have a trustworthy friend in the process. Someone to take you gently by the shoulders and point you toward a new way of thinking about an old challenge. That’s why I’m here. We can do this together.
Grab A Seat: YOUR BREAKTHROUGH BEGINS NOW
Friend, this book is your consultation. It’s an invitation to sit down on the couch with me, reexamine your own story, and rediscover your big-picture dreams for how you want to experience daily life in your own home.
And perhaps there’s never been a better time to do it. As an organizer, I’ve seen a significant shift in the way people are thinking about their homes. Too often I’ve seen the heartbreaking effect of a living space that serves only asa frantic transition station for the rest of life or, worse, as an afterthought. But the 2020 pandemic, has—for the first time in a generation—forced us to be in our homes more often and for longer periods at a time. That global event required people all over the world to really observe and feel the influence of their home surroundings, and to realize that their homes are meant to be so much more than pass-through points. I think many people experienced a shift during that time, realizing that their homes weren’t quite serving them in the most optimal ways, and, more than that, that they wanted their homes to be a reflection of what they value most in this life. I heard that a lot, and what I realized is that when people feel stuck within their home spaces—and unsure of how to create change—they often feel like they’re stalling out in other places as well. They feel like they don’t know where to begin.
This is where I can come in to help. Unpacking the physical and emotional makeup of a home is something I do for a living, and my greatest passion is helping people feel more deeply rooted in who they are and what they want for their lives—and a big part of that comes from realizing the ways in which your home reflects your heart.
In the chapters that follow, I break down each of the most common mental barriers that block the way to establishing an organized and streamlined home. It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach; you’ll probably see yourself (or people you know) reflected in these pages. The truth is that everyone can experience any number of these mental barriers, and those inevitably prove a hindrance against having the home of your dreams. However, once the emotional clutter is cleared, you’ll find practical (and pleasing) solutions for bringing order to the trickiest physical spaces in your home, and the methods to keep it that way.
And here’s my favorite part: all along the way, I share the experiences of real clients who have done this soul work and seen some incredible break-throughs in their homes and family lives because of it. Their stories of trans-formation and growth still get me emotional—in the very best way. I know they will inspire and empower you too.
As we begin this journey together, let this book be (1) your permission slip to ask yourself what you really want for your home environment, and (2) the toolbox to help you get there. The way I see it, organizing work is really about caring for yourself and the loved ones in your household in a more holistic way. Your guiding question should always be: How can I shape my home to nurture my heart in this particular season?
It’s so tempting to keep one eye on the horizon—and believe me, I get it. We’re desperate to mitigate the inevitable changes the future will bring. But that’s precious energy spent on something out of your control. By ordering your home around what’s best for your life in the present, you are building internal reserves and resiliency for the days ahead. And when we’re more resilient, we’re not only better equipped to face the challenges that arise, we’re able to recognize and embrace more goodness too.
Let’s create the space for the life you want to live.